It seems that the momentum of life can be overwhelming sometimes. We are busy with the daily routines of life, meeting the responsibilities of business and home, dealing with crises and putting out fires.

Our inner critic can sound deafening reminding us of all the "coulda, shouldas" that slipped through our grasp or we didn't tend to. It is somehow easier for us to be more tolerant of others than of ourselves.

It was 20 years ago that I moved to Florida. 1986 was a year that was filled with life changing choices and events in my world. Everyday I miss my dad that died that year. I often think about my sister-in-law Julie and how bravely she and my brother faced her battle with cancer. I remember vividly the adventure of risking leaving my job that year to travel around the country for 3 months by car, train, and plane. I remember the excitement of visiting my sons at college and the pride I felt for my Mom as she had to create a new life without my father. 2006 was a rollercoaster of emotions and forever changes in my life.

Now all these years later I realize that 2006 has become another life changing year for me. If it were possible to get an aerial view of my life it would be a zigzagging, twisting, turning, circular pattern. Some people feel life is destiny, that there is no point in planning. Although clearly, more often than not, my original plans turn into Plan B. I think life is more about choices. I've made some good choices and some horrific ones but they are mine.

The one constant in my life has been the blossoming and growth of my spiritual life. I used to feel self-conscious and guilty because my faith didn't fit into a specific, organized religion or creed. How ridiculous to feel concerned about whether I can fit into a spirtitual mold when so far my life has been nothing, if not, an unpredictable blessed adventure.

I love the poem "Footprints in the sand." As a beach bum it is a perfect symbol for me. I am positive that if I could see my footprints in the sand I would see times when God carried me and times when we danced together in celebration. I learned a long time ago from Psalm 2:12 "Blessed are all those who take refuge in him." Knowing this, I need to work on silencing my inner critic or at the very least believe in myself as much as I believe in others. I shall work on this. Afterall God doesn't make junk.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, Â?You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?Â?

The Lord replied, Â?The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.Â?

Mary Stevenson

I hope you realize you are terrific, just the way you are. Thank you for stopping by and reading my ramblings today.