I thought I may be on the verge or in the midst of an emotional breakdown. What should I do? How do I regain control?

The last several months it has felt like my world is unraveling.

I couldn't understand why, how? I attributed it to work, to stress, a variety of explanations. Confusion and worry about what was happening has added to the anxiety. I've done my best to explore solutions to regain my sense of self, to decompress.

Then unexpectedly, this morning I had a light bulb moment. I realized what was wrong.

As I walked into work, Shelley said good morning and asked me casually, "How's life?" I said, "Getting better". She then told me that yesterday had been a bad day for her but she had called her Mom and now things were better. She said calling her Mom always made her feel better.

BINGO, that was it. At that moment I realized what was causing me heartache and increasing emotional instability. In the past I have been blessed to have had my Mom, Dad, and then David Hallal to call. I never took them for granted but I think I took for granted that they would always be there. I had a naive belief in their magical powers. There were supposed to be invincible. Now they are gone.

They each had a unique way of listening and providing a safe harbor for me. A missing piece to my life is calling David everyday.

David had a way of saying things, sometimes not exactly polite and often more direct and to the point than I would like. He was someone who cared and yet had the ability to stand back and be objective, to know when to encourage and support or kick me in the butt when needed. He also had the power to infuriate me and make me crazy when he would be right when we disagreed.

Hearing Shelley this morning made me realize that it isn't so much that I am having a breakdown as it is that things are storing up inside me because my confidant is gone.

My pressure relief valve is gone.