When I Am An Old Woman...

I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me, and I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves and satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells and run my stick along the public railings and make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain and pick the flowers in other people's gardens and learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat and eat three pounds of sausages at a go or only bread and pickle for a week and hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry and pay our rent and not swear in the street and set a good exmple for the children. We will have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised when suddenly I am old and start to wear purple. By Jenny Joseph & Elizabeth Lucas

What started out as a warning - a declaration of independence and nonconformity - has become an association. There are registered groups of "Red Hat Ladies" throughout the country.

I think the real warning should be, "Daring not to conform, to remain unique takes courage. It is challenge. To be one of a kind is to dare to be rare and not fit in."

Something unusual eventually beckons immitation. What takes the most courage and will make you truly unique is to have the courage to be yourself. Warning no two people are the same. We begin life as a unique individual - we learn to conform. For many, conforming gives not only a sense of comfort and validation but also a true sense of happiness and belonging.

If you are thinking of wearing purple and a red hat that doesn't go, is it because you have reached that point in your life when you no longer care what people think? Or is it because you wish to belong?