A Story - Untitled - Part I


Was he real or was he memorex?

Had she simply conjured up an image of him?

If he wasn't really the man she thought, if he really didn't genuinely care... was that what she feared so much? Did she think she would suffer physical pain? emotional pain?

Rarely does a woman remember pain. Even the pain of childbirth is forgotten once she is holding her healthy baby in her arms. Even time has a way of easing the sorrow of losing a loved one.

If it wasn't physical or emotional pain, what was it? Was it a matter of trust - faith that it was too good to be true? Was it daring to believe that someone could love her just the way she was? She didn't think she was unlovable or that she didn't have a lot to offer. It was just that, if history were any indication, people who cared about her wanted to change her.

She would be the first to say that she was a work in progress however she found conformity constricting. It seemed inevitable that whenever she let someone get close, they assigned a role and expectations to her. She felt bad when she disappointed them by failing to adapt to their expectations.

Imagination has led to fantastic inventions that were considered folly before they became a reality.

Maybe there was at least a teeny tiny possibility that a man could love her - just the way she was. Not because of, not in spite of, not if only she looked or behaved a little differently, but just the way she was.

Time and time again, it has been proven that "the impossible" is just something that hasn't happened yet.

No one thought man could fly and still he not only flew, he walked on the moon. We actually watched it as it happened. Everyday things we use and take for granted were once thought impossible.

The real question isn't...was he real or was he memorex? Had she simply conjured him up? The real question is whether she has the courage to the take the risk and find out.

Maybe he could like her just the way she was - uniquely flawed and human as she might be. Maybe he could love her unconditionally...maybe, just maybe.

She smiled, stood up, got her keys and headed for the door.