Identity Theft


TV, newspapers and alerts from your computer screen all warn against Identity theft. People access your driver's license, social security number and confidential information from your credit cards. The dangers and repercussions are tremendous and can be easily comprehended. Consequently, more and more people are taking precautions to protect themselves against invasion of their personal information.

I find myself the victim of another type of Identity Theft....recently I found a message tucked away in my voicemail box. The person said, "you never cared". My first response was an enormous pain to my heart. Then I wanted to call back and list all the examples of times that would illustrate that I cared care.

This morning I am glad that I didn't return the call.

It occurs to me that people are often trying to tell us "how we feel" or "how we should feel". Consequently, we are defending our positions, or explaining the whys and hows or justifying actions and emotions. We let people steal our Identity and be able to interpret our feelings. Our feelings that is the key, we can't let that part of our Identity be stolen from us.

Feelings and emotions are extremely personal. They are best when au 'natural and not contrived.

Since I received that voicemail, I have abused myself mentally. I have replayed the relationship in my mind. People seem to be the hardest judge of themselves. It is difficult to forgive yourself for disappointing someone even if you did the best you could. You feel bad that your best wasn't enough. It seems easier to believe your identity as it is intrepreted by others than in ourself.

I am trying to learn to trust myself. To know that I care. We can't be responsible for other people's choices and actions. We have to be who we are and stop trying to present a false image in an effort to please. We don't need to justify caring. Real love is accepting other people just the way they are without needing to change them.

Please don't let anyone steal your Identity. Be the best you that you can be.

As for me I will hope that someday, without a call back to his message, my caring will be remembered. I care and did the best I could.

My dad once told me that it is a shame that you can have a basket full of "atta boys" (compliments) and yet when you get one "aw shit" (criticism) it erases all the "atta boys".